Archive for the lover

Fiction102: after a greek word you don’t really mean saying

December 30, 2008 at 10:40 pm · Filed under the unreliable ·Tagged

you are building something. a labyrinth of thoughts. i’ll find my way out. and just now i am the Minotaur aren’t i?

you tell me never to trust anyone. if i will believe you that will only mean i never really listen to anything you say. i somehow see what you are getting at. so i don’t trust you. we live in ironies–it’s a post-modern world, post-human even, if you won’t allow me to

run

my fingertips

to

each

warm

breath

you

make.



the Minotaur is outside, looking in, looking at the walls you build around your thoughts.

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old shoes

December 14, 2008 at 1:05 am · Filed under the lover ·Tagged

It seemed very sad to see you going off in your new shoes alone.(–Zelda Fitzgerald, in a letter to her husband, February 1932)

…when I, seeing you from afar, could have been with you.

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this shit called hope

November 5, 2008 at 7:30 pm · Filed under the lover ·Tagged , ,

loloy.tejano: naunsa ka?
noshei00: pain
loloy.tejano: big word
noshei00: bitterness, rather
noshei00: is a cloud
noshei00: that does not need a reason
loloy.tejano: sorry day.. after seeing my pix, i realize im happy
loloy.tejano: haha
loloy.tejano: without any shade of edits n’ other stuff
noshei00: bantay bitaw ka ugma ha
loloy.tejano: as in.. taman talinga jud akong smile these past hours
loloy.tejano: dnt spoil..
loloy.tejano: contagious bya ka
noshei00: ok
noshei00: as if dili ka
noshei00: hmm
loloy.tejano: later
loloy.tejano: hehe
noshei00: hahaha
noshei00: kalibangun ko
loloy.tejano: paminawa akong background music sa fs
noshei00: malibang sa ko
loloy.tejano: as in
noshei00: yeha
noshei00: lay-ter
loloy.tejano: moingon jud kas music is happiness
loloy.tejano: ok lay-ter

(after 15minutes)

noshei00: dugaya mu play oi
loloy.tejano: haler..pg sure sa imong connection gurl
loloy.tejano: hehe
noshei00: ai
noshei00: pretentious
noshei00: heheh
noshei00: peace
loloy.tejano: bweset ka
noshei00: happy nako, libang lang diay kulang
noshei00: ikaw?
noshei00: <sign off>
loloy.tejano: feeling pud nko nahappy ko kay nakalibang kohehe
noshei00: bitaw, maka happy
loloy.tejano: at least no
loloy.tejano: always man ta mkalibang so always pud ta happyu
loloy.tejano: yucks oi
noshei00: hahah
noshei00: as if
loloy.tejano: gilibang nimo ang cloud noh??
loloy.tejano: unsay color?haha
noshei00: yeah!
noshei00: di lang cloud
noshei00: pati ang rainwater
loloy.tejano: char… igit ba ito
loloy.tejano: haha
loloy.tejano: i thot it was with a stone
loloy.tejano: haha
noshei00: basa basa man gud
loloy.tejano: xet nabasa na jud ko
loloy.tejano: ka diay
loloy.tejano: hahaha
noshei00: peste
loloy.tejano: bongga akong music no
loloy.tejano: char au
noshei00: bantay lang ka
loloy.tejano: hahah
loloy.tejano: nag effort baya jud ko ug hanap ana
loloy.tejano: karon lng ko kabalo ana nga song
noshei00: hahah
noshei00: unya gi angkon dayon nimo wa pa ni agi ug fermentation
loloy.tejano: somewhere over the rainbow man unta ako
loloy.tejano: of course!
noshei00: hahaha
noshei00: go!
noshei00: mau pa kato nalang
loloy.tejano: let external forces manipulate me
loloy.tejano: yucks.. tama na anang mga HOPISH songas
loloy.tejano: hope is a pleasant acquaintance, but an unsafe friend
loloy.tejano: watchout
noshei00: hahahah
noshei00: no, hope is never external
loloy.tejano: suya lng ka kay wala kay song
loloy.tejano: char..
noshei00: bitaw
noshei00: mangita ko
loloy.tejano: if its internal, you can manipulate it
loloy.tejano: hahahaha
loloy.tejano: peace
noshei00: hihihihi
loloy.tejano: labour hope, and water will come out
loloy.tejano: hahaha
noshei00: exactly, and hope is for ur own vain consumption
loloy.tejano: if you can manipulate it, its no longer hope.. bitterness na na
loloy.tejano: hahaha
loloy.tejano: kung mutigulang ang hope day, bitterness na bya
loloy.tejano: OH EFFORT PA JUD UG TUBAG!
loloy.tejano: effort is not a slave of hope
loloy.tejano: haha
noshei00: yawa, hangertz ko
noshei00: makaguba ug momentum
loloy.tejano: ipatimbang na pc nimo
loloy.tejano: haha
loloy.tejano: niliwat na sa tag-iya
noshei00: hahaha
loloy.tejano: effort is not a slave of hope
loloy.tejano: timan-i na
noshei00: akong manghud man gud naga load ug duha ka episodes sa gossp girl
loloy.tejano: char..
noshei00: peste man ni oi
loloy.tejano: tulog na sel..
loloy.tejano: haha
loloy.tejano: pgmata nimo di napud ka happy
loloy.tejano: haha
noshei00: but hope is a secret
loloy.tejano: kay nawala na ang effect sa libang
noshei00: but hope is a secret
loloy.tejano: haha.. dnt post it again..im trying to ignore it
loloy.tejano: haha
noshei00: but hope is a secret
loloy.tejano: gihaggle lng sa secret ang hope
loloy.tejano: he has no choice
loloy.tejano: hehe
noshei00: mao ang hope sa marbel tag 19pesos ang kaha
loloy.tejano: hahaha.. now i know y choose to smoke that thing
loloy.tejano: my god.. pati b nmn sa yosi
loloy.tejano: hahahaha
noshei00: dude, everything is symbolic of something
noshei00: everything is subjct for epiphany
noshei00: char lang
loloy.tejano: water + hope = weight loss… haha nanambok ka!
noshei00: ambot sa kegwa nimo loy, na depress napud ko
loloy.tejano: hahaha
loloy.tejano: hahahaha
loloy.tejano: dnt be sublime..
noshei00: malibang napud ko
noshei00: or matulog nalang

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char-char

October 29, 2008 at 6:19 pm · Filed under the lover

it comes.


and when it comes, it comes like rain.

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fiction1: 6pm jeepney-ride to mintal

July 26, 2008 at 12:03 am · Filed under the lover ·Tagged

i don’t see your face anymore. i try to recall the way you turn from the corner, the way your arms dangle when you walk. i imagine you and i fake  it. i try so hard and i fake it. i notice, i fake it.

you, breathing behind my ear. you, rubbing my back. your eyebrow, gentle on my cheek. my hand in your hand. your arms, wrapping me. (i am fragile.)

i fake it. i try to recall your face, boy, so hard that i fake it. i can’t remember your face, how you look. your eyes, your nose, your mouth. i try so hard to recall that i fake it.

but i do remember, you, breathing behind my ear. your hands, tight on my shoulders. you,rubbing my back. your eyebrow, gentle on my cheek. my hand in your hand. your arms, wrapping me. these i remember.

it is true then, that “the skin has its own memory”, and that i won’t really know if you ever exist with a face.

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fathom fainting phantom*

May 8, 2008 at 1:31 pm · Filed under the lover

the other day i woke up with my feverish eyes. i swelled as red as an ant-bite. and i shooed thoughts like flies. i was a close-wound rotting.

i have a disease. a terminal illness by its own.

what happened when i woke up that day, for the nth time for a span of three summers and a yesterday, was a broken-heart attack.

*and i can only laugh about it. ha-ha-ha!

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